New baby in a blue blanket with a lamb in the crib

Step by Step Guide to Finding Your New Normal

Hi Mamas, Hey Lexi! here,

With this being the first official weekly post, let’s kick things off with some of my own personal struggles, and questions that I had as a brand-new mommy. Here we go…

What is my New Normal?

I remember bringing my new baby home and reality hit that I needed to find my new normal!  Everything was so out of whack! I wasn’t sleeping much, my body was still healing from giving birth, and my thoughts and emotions were all over the place. “I just want to feel NORMAL again!” was a thought or expression in my house on the daily.  

How do you go about getting back to normal when everything is different?

Nothing feels normal, and there is this new person that has moved into your house and changed the entire dynamic of how you lived your life before. At times it can even feel like the baby is in charge, and you’re just second banana! Well the good news is that all these things, the thoughts, feelings, fears, lack of sleep, and chaotic confusion of the first couple weeks with a new born are…you guessed it COMPLETELY NORMAL!

The best advice I received during this time was that the first two weeks are the hardest, and that after the first 100 days with a baby you start to feel normal again. If you’re like me the thought that just jumped into your mind went something like this…”100 DAYS?!! I can’t even think about how I’m going to survive the night, or the next hour!” Just keep going, keep putting one foot in front of the other, it WILL get better! Things do get easier, and you will find your new normal I promise! This post is going to help you figure out the best way for you to feel like yourself again. Below is what I did in that first 100 days to help me feel like a person again, and find my new normal. 😊

Step # 1:

Get back to your Routine

What I mean by this is you need to remember your self-care. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT AT THIS STAGE! For me I have a morning routine:

  1. Go to the Bathroom
  2. Wash Face
  3. Use Astringent
  4. Put on Lotion
  5. Put on Deodorant
  6. Pick out/Put on Clothes
  7. Brush Teeth
  8. Comb/Style Hair
  9. Make-up (optional depending on the day 😉)

 

When we first brought our daughter home my head was so foggy that I was doing good just to remember to get deodorant on and brush my teeth in a single day! I felt so used up and needed all the time that I forgot about my own needs for a while. So, what I did that really helped me to overcome this and begin remembering that I am a woman first, a wife second, and then a mother is to start taking extra care of myself. I took the list above and broke it down into segments, then gave myself a timeline to implement those segments. So, it looked something like this.

Week 1:

Start wearing pants again (if you’re ready) and brush your teeth @ least once per day.

Week 2:

Add in making sure you put on deodorant and a possible shower or two!

Week 3:

Add in Washing your face, using astringent, and putting on lotion. (If this seems like to much to take on in one week you can break it out further 😉 )

Week 4:

Start having a regular time to wake up in the morning (this is important especially if you’re planning to go back to work) and getting fully dressed for the day. (For me when I’m not working that’s T-shirt and jeans although for the first couple months Jeans were still to restricting so yoga pants and workout clothes were my best friends!) You can decide how “fully” you want to get dressed and can even break that down into later weeks if needed.

Week 5:

Do something with my hair!

Week 6:

Make up?

The above is just an example and is all relative to what your routine is, and what you feel in the moment would help you the most.

Step# 2:

Take Baby Steps

Take Baby steps… (lol get it? I crack myself up!)  Spend some time away from your little one. Don’t freak out, this doesn’t mean your packing up and heading out for a weekend vacation and leaving your 1 month old with grandma! But maybe having grandma hold your baby for 10-15 mins while you and your partner take a walk around the block or sit in the next room and cuddle is a good place to start!

For us, our anniversary fell about two months after we had our baby, and it was nerve wracking to leave her for a couple hours just to go have dinner somewhere and come back, but I did it! And I’m SO glad I did. You need to keep investing in your relationship with your spouse, they need to be reminded that they are a person too, and that they are still just as important to you.

Step # 3:

Making your Grand Re-entry!

Start going out in public with your baby, take small trips not to far from the house and under the amount of time for a feeding cycle.  This is what really sealed the deal for me and helped me to feel like things really could get back to being normal. For the first six weeks or so when I was home and mostly alone as my husband, and my mom both had to return to work after about the first week, I had a hard time feeling isolated, and lonely.

Not that people didn’t come by to see me, but no one really stayed for very long, which was really a good and polite thing to do. Still it left me feeling a bit low, so when we could start getting out around other people, getting back into our other routines like going to church and other social engagements with friends and family it started feeling more like my life again! Plus, now I could show off my beautiful baby to EVERYONE!!! It’s like “I worked 9 months on this people, yes come and admire my efforts! Lol!

When you’re in the throes of motherhood, and everything seems daunting, it’s OK to take it slow. You don’t have to rush a single thing! This phase will be over before you know it! Your life will calm down again, and you’ll have a lot of help. At this stage don’t worry about all the other responsibilities like cooking, cleaning, going back to work, all that will come in time. For now, just focus on you, your needs, and the needs of your precious little one! You’ve got this mama! Hang in there!

Well Mommy duty calls!

TTFN-Ta Ta For Now!

Hey Lexi! signing off. 🙂

 

If you enjoyed this post, please share this with your friends, and don’t forget to leave your questions in the comment section below!  I am here for you, let me know your pain points, what are you struggling with? Together we can find a solution, and encourage one another!

 

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